One of my great joys, tending my small flock of milking sheep. Giving Radha and White a scratch.

It was three days into my first silent meditation retreat when the teacher grimly announced, “Give yourself nothing to look forward to!”  She had not so much as cracked a smile either on or off her cushion in the previous days and there were 7 more days to go.  I’ve since learned that it’s possible that her meditation techniques might lead to enlightenment but not to good mental health.

Years later I found myself jesting with a friend who is a devout practitioner of morning chanting that if we had to choose between our favorite breakfast of a soft-boiled egg, sourdough toast, and hot tea or enlightenment, we would choose the breakfast! Because who is to say that the fullest enjoyment of a good breakfast with all the rituals that go with heating the tea pot, pouring boiling water over the fragrant leaves, the pop of the toaster, the divine taste of melted butter, and, of course, a perfectly cooked egg, might just nudge me towards an experience of bliss.  Regularly.  Like every morning.

This is what I’ve been thinking about lately, as I’ve been tending a few friends facing serious health issues, and how much a visit accompanied by a tin of freshly baked goodies brings pleasure.  Or a tray of tender garden seedlings, meant to help someone struggling with the side-effects of chemo to do the one thing that, without fail, brings her joy: getting out into the garden.

As someone who has struggled through periods of intense depression in my youth, I now know how important it is not only to give oneself things to look forward to, but also to take the time to feel and bask in the joy of simple pleasures.  A recent article in the New York Times on “How to Strengthen Your Happiness Muscle” confirms that simple steps can increase our “reward sensitivity” and can help us to boost our drive to seek out positive emotions and enjoy life.  Which is what the everyday practice of enlightened living is about.  

Studies are finding that “trying to take away the bad” is not nearly as effective as boosting your joy quotient. It can be a very small thing, like keeping a treat in a special tin and savoring this goodie after lunch (one of my favorites).  It’s also recommended that we expand our vocabulary when describing positive emotions, moving away from the staid, “good, not bad, and fine” to words like delighted, invigorated, elated, calm.  

I hope this newsletter finds you already planning your next little reward, whether it be a long walk with your dog, a phone call with a good friend, or time on your yoga mat.  You don’t need a research paper to confirm what you already know.  Joy begets joy . . . and a little square of chocolate can help.

Please share any special words you use to express positive emotions or ideas you have found helpful for leading a more joyful life in the comments below.

Warmly,

Donna